Stop Doing This, Start Doing That: 10 Simple Ways to Build Oral Language Skills in Preschool
I was having lunch with a friend one day when we started talking about her daughter, who had recently begun working with a speech-language pathologist. She was having some difficulty processing her thoughts and was stuttering a bit.
That’s when my friend shared something that changed the way I thought about conversations with children. Her daughter’s therapist had encouraged her to stop peppering her with questions and instead give her more time to think, process, and respond.
This hit home. Not just as a mom, but as a teacher. How many times had I asked a child (and my own children), “How was your day?” only to hear the predictable response, “Fine”?
When I worked at the local preschool, I had the opportunity to greet children during carpool every afternoon. One by one, I’d welcome them into the car and ask about their day. And one by one, I’d get the same short answers. After hearing this tip, I decided to try something different.
Instead of asking questions, I started sharing stories.
“The funniest thing happened to me today!” Sometimes it was a real story. Sometimes I’d make up a silly little scenario just to spark their curiosity.
And something changed. Instead of feeling like they needed to answer my questions, the children became genuinely interested. They wanted to know what happened next. They made connections to their own experiences. They jumped in with their own stories.
Suddenly, we weren’t having a question-and-answer session. We were having a conversation, and that conversation could go on and on.
That experience reminded me of something important: sometimes, the smallest changes in how we interact with children can create the biggest opportunities for learning.
And research backs this up. In a study led by MIT and Harvard researchers, children ages 4 to 6 who experienced more back-and-forth conversations with adults showed greater activity in brain regions involved in language processing. These conversational turns were also linked to stronger language skills. In other words, it’s not just about how many words children hear. It’s about giving them opportunities to respond, share their ideas, and keep the conversation going. Read the MIT research here.
The good news? We don’t necessarily need more activities or more time in our day. We just need to be a little more intentional about the conversations, stories, and play that are already happening. So, let’s look at 11 simple shifts you can make to help children build their oral language skills, starting today.
Let’s dive in!
10 Ways to Stop Doing This and Start Doing That to Build Oral Language Skills in Preschool
Number 1:
Stop assuming children don’t understand just because they can’t talk.
Start building receptive language from the very beginning.
Long before children say their first words, they are learning to understand language. They are connecting words with people, objects, actions, and experiences. This is called receptive language, and it develops before children can consistently exp ress themselves with words.
That means our conversations matter from the very beginning.
Try this:
Narrate everyday experiences. Talk about what you’re doing while preparing a meal, getting dressed, taking a walk, or playing together.
“You found your shoes! Let’s put them on. Now we’re ready to go outside!”
You don’t need your child to repeat every word. You’re providing meaningful language they can begin to understand and connect to their world.
Number 2:
Stop ignoring the babbles.
Start treating early sounds as the beginning of conversation.
When babies babble, they are beginning to experiment with sounds and communication. When we respond, we create opportunities for them to experience the back-and-forth rhythm of a conversation. Think about it: communication isn’t just about producing words. It’s also about learning that our sounds, gestures, and expressions can connect us with other people.
Try this:
When babies babble, pause and respond. Smile, imitate a sound, or add a few words. Then give them time to respond again. You might feel a little silly having a conversation made up of sounds and smiles, but these early exchanges are meaningful opportunities for communication development.
Number 3:
Stop missing the serve.
Start practicing serve and return.
Serve and return is the back-and-forth interaction between a child and an adult. A child’s serve might be a point, a gesture, a sound, a word, or simply looking toward something interesting. When a child points to a truck, for example, they are inviting you to share their attention. When we notice and respond, we help build the back-and-forth interactions that support communication and learning. Learn more about serve and return from Harvard.
Try this:
Follow the child’s lead. If they point to a dog, you might say, “You see a dog! Look at its floppy ears. I wonder where it’s going.” Then pause. Let the child respond in whatever way they can. You don’t always need to redirect the interaction toward what you planned to teach. Sometimes, the best learning begins with what has already captured a child’s attention.
Number 4.
Stop peppering children with questions.
Start sharing your own stories.
This is the strategy that changed everything for me. Questions certainly have a place in language development, but when every interaction becomes a series of questions, children can end up answering us instead of participating in a genuine conversation.
Instead of asking, “What did you do today? Did you play outside? Who did you play with?” try sharing something about your own day. “The funniest thing happened to me today! I was walking into the store when I saw the biggest dog I’ve ever seen.”
Now you’ve given children something to react to. They might ask a question, share a similar experience, or tell you about a dog they know.
Try this:
Share an interesting, funny, surprising, or even slightly silly story. Leave space for children to jump in, make connections, and share their own ideas.
Remember, the goal isn’t to do all the talking. It’s to create a conversation children want to join.
Number 5:
Stop reading a story only once.
Start using repeated read-alouds to deepen understanding.
One of my favorite ways to build oral language is through interactive read-alouds. The first time children hear a story, they’re working to understand what is happening. When we revisit that same book, we can help them notice new details, explore vocabulary, make connections, and develop a deeper understanding of the concepts. And no, reading a story multiple times doesn’t mean simply repeating the same experience every day!
Try this:
Give each reading a different purpose.
First read: Enjoy the story, introduce the characters, and build an understanding of what is happening.
Second read: Focus on vocabulary, interesting language, and important concepts.
Third read: Extend the learning through discussion, connections, retelling, and play.
One great book can become several days of meaningful language learning.
Number 6.
Stop rushing to the end of the book.
Start valuing the conversations along the way.
Have you ever been reading a story to your whole class when several children want to share what they notice, ask questions, or connect the story to their own experiences? It can be tempting to redirect them so you can finish the book.
But these moments are rich opportunities for oral language development. When children share their ideas, listen to their classmates, and build on one another’s thinking, they’re practicing important communication skills.
Try this:
Pause the read-aloud and give children time to share. Invite them to explain what they notice, make predictions, or connect the story to their own experiences. You might even find that one child’s observation sparks a conversation among the whole group!
Don’t worry about finishing the book. You can always pick it back up later in the day or the next day, especially when using the three-part read-aloud framework we discussed earlier.
Sometimes, the conversations along the way are just as valuable as finishing the story.
Number 7:
Stop ignoring the fancy words.
Start embracing ambitious vocabulary.
Children don’t need us to limit our language to words they already know. They need opportunities to hear new words, connect them to meaningful experiences, and use them in different contexts. Words like enormous, investigate, fragile, and delighted can become part of a child’s vocabulary when we make their meanings accessible. The key is not simply introducing a new word. It’s helping children understand what it means.
Try this:
Choose a word from a story or classroom experience and explore it throughout the week. Create a vocabulary display with the word, a picture, and opportunities to act it out or draw it. Use it during play and connect it to familiar experiences. For example, if your word is enormous, compare an enormous block tower with a tiny one. Find something enormous outside. Invite children to describe other enormous things.
The more meaningful opportunities children have to encounter and use a word, the more deeply they can understand it.
Number 8:
Stop relying on pictures alone.
Start bringing real objects into the conversation.
Pictures are wonderful tools for introducing concepts, but real objects give children additional ways to explore and describe what they notice. This week, we were discussing a story about apples, and the children were genuinely surprised and excited when they had the opportunity to touch and explore a real apple! Something so familiar to us became an opportunity for discovery.
Try this:
Bring real objects into your classroom that connect to the books you’re reading or the topics you’re exploring. It could be an apple, a pinecone, a seashell, a piece of fabric, or a tool you find in a story.
Invite children to touch, smell, compare, and describe what they notice. Introduce new vocabulary naturally as they explore, then connect those words back to the story. You can adapt this for any age. Younger children might explore textures and practice simple descriptive words, while older preschoolers might compare features, make predictions, and explain their observations.
You’re not just teaching children the names of things. You’re building vocabulary and background knowledge they can draw on when they encounter those concepts again.
Number 9:
Stop reading a story and putting it away.
Start bringing stories to life!
This is one of the easiest ways to extend a read-aloud, and it brings together so many important pieces of early literacy. When children act out a story, they get to use the language, explore the characters, retell events, and demonstrate their understanding in a way that goes beyond answering questions. And the best part? You don’t need an elaborate activity or expensive materials.
Try this:
After reading a story, invite children to act it out. They might pretend to be the characters, recreate an important event, use simple props, or retell the story in their own words.
You can also act out vocabulary from the book. If a character stomped, let children stomp. If someone was exhausted, invite them to show what exhausted might look like.
As children play, model the language they can use.
“I wonder why the character decided to leave.”
“First, the bear climbed the hill. What happened next?”
“Your character looks disappointed. What happened?”
You can even revisit the story through felt boards and in the dramatic play center over several days. When children get to use the language of a story, they have more opportunities to make it their own. This is what merging literacy and play can look like in practice.
Number 10:
Stop filling every silence or correcting every mistake.
Start giving children time to think, respond, and expand their ideas.
Sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do during a conversation is wait. Children may need time to process what they’ve heard, organize their thoughts, and figure out how they want to respond. If we jump in too quickly, we may unintentionally take away their opportunity to contribute. And when children make mistakes, we don’t always need to stop the conversation to correct them.
Try this:
Ask a question, then wait. And wait a little longer. It might feel like forever, but children are thinking! Give them time to process, find their words, and share their ideas.
When children share their ideas, resist the urge to jump in, finish their sentences, or correct every little mistake. Instead, listen to what they’re trying to communicate and give them room to keep going. You can always build on their words naturally as the conversation continues. The goal isn’t perfect speech in every interaction. It’s giving children the time, space, and confidence to communicate.
The Bigger Picture: Oral Language Is Happening All Day Long
Here’s what I want you to remember: Building oral language doesn’t require a separate lesson for every new word or a complicated activity for every conversation. It begins with recognizing the opportunities already around us.
It’s the conversation during snack. The new word introduced during block play. The story revisited throughout the week. The real apple brought into the classroom. The child who points to something fascinating and invites us to share the moment.
When we become more intentional about these interactions, we’re helping children develop vocabulary, background knowledge, and the ability to understand and express increasingly complex ideas.
These skills matter for far more than reading. They help children communicate, build relationships, explore the world, and make sense of their experiences. And as children grow into readers, that foundation becomes increasingly important. Reading comprehension depends not only on recognizing words but also on understanding the language and ideas those words represent.
We don’t have to choose between research-based instruction and play. We can create meaningful learning experiences that bring the two together.
That’s where the shift begins!
P.S. Oral language is just one of the many foundational pieces I explore in my new book, The Early Literacy Shift: An Early Childhood Educator’s Guide to Merging Research and Play.
I wrote this book to help early childhood educators move beyond the idea that research-based literacy instruction and play have to compete. Inside, I share practical ways to bring literacy research to life through meaningful, developmentally appropriate experiences in the preschool classroom.
Because understanding what children need is important. Knowing how to bring it to life is where the magic happens.
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