Why I Stopped Telling Parents to Wait (and What I Watch for with Oral Language Struggles Instead)
Updated: 21 hours ago
I still cringe a little when I think about how often I used to tell kindergarten parents with children struggling to read:
“We just have to wait for that developmental window to open.”
I was taught that this was the truth. And I meant well. I truly did. I wanted to reassure parents that children develop at different rates and that their child would get there in time.
But the truth is, I didn’t have the tools I have today. I didn’t fully understand what I know now about early language development, the foundations of reading, and the importance of noticing when a child might need more support.
Sometimes, the children did need just a bit more time. But for many, waiting wasn’t what that child needed. And this kills me inside.
But I can’t go back and change what I knew then. What I can do is share what I’ve learned. I can help other educators recognize what to look for, ask better questions, and feel more confident advocating for the children in their care. That’s a big part of why I do the work I do today.
Because early noticing matters. And oral language is a place we can start.
Where Reading Really Begins...
We sometimes think of reading development as something that begins when children learn their letters or walk into kindergarten. But the foundations are developing long before that.
One of the biggest pieces of that foundation is oral language: how children understand language, communicate their thoughts, learn words, and process the sounds and language around them.
Because it is one of the first skills that develops, it is also one of the greatest opportunities for us as educators to build and support the reading brain. From simple conversations, to building background knowledge, to giving children a chance to share their thoughts and ideas or tell a story, we can support this foundation.
It is also one of the greatest opportunities to notice early struggles and step in.
In a 2025 article, the Harvard Gazette highlighted research led by Dr. Nadine Gaab and colleagues showing that developmental trajectories in brain development between children with and without reading disabilities began to diverge around 18 months.
The article also highlights two important foundations of reading: oral language and phonological processing, or how children detect and work with the sounds of spoken language. In fact, Gaab explains, “The first four years of reading development is oral language development.”
This is an important reminder that the foundations of reading are developing long before formal reading instruction begins. How children understand language and how they process the sounds of language both matter from the earliest years.
How Common Are Oral Language Struggles?
I started digging into the most recent data to find just how many children struggle with oral language. The numbers were quite surprising! Epic Research looked at the health records of more than 1.3 million toddlers and found that speech delay diagnoses by age two climbed from about 13% before the pandemic to 16–17% in 2023 and 2024. That’s roughly one in every six two-year-olds! What surprised the researchers most is that the rate hasn’t come back down, even for children who turned two well after the height of the pandemic.
Another large analysis of insurance claims from Komodo Health found that new speech disorder diagnoses in children ages 3 to 5 more than doubled in 2022 compared to the years before the pandemic. These are the children sitting in our preschool classrooms right now.
And those are only the children who have been identified. Developmental language disorder (DLD) is difficulty with learning, understanding, and using language that isn’t explained by something like hearing loss or autism. It affects about 1 in 14 kindergartners according to the National Institutes of Health. That’s roughly two children in every classroom, and yet so many of teachers have gone through teacher training without ever hearing the term. Research has also found that many parents of children with DLD aren’t aware their child is struggling with oral language at all, which is exactly why our eyes as educators matter so much.
This connects right back to reading. By adulthood, people with DLD are six times more likely to be diagnosed with reading and spelling disabilities. The good news? Early support during the preschool years can improve the skills of many children with language delays. This is exactly why our noticing matters so much.
Sources: Epic Research, Childhood Speech Delay Rates Have Not Fallen After Post-Pandemic Surge (2025); Komodo Health, Pediatric Speech Disorders Skyrocket Throughout Pandemic (2023); NIDCD, Developmental Language Disorder fact sheet (2022).
So, What Does This Mean for Us as Educators?
As educators, we are in a unique and wonderful position to support our students and change trajectories. We have the opportunity and responsibility to notice differences. Not to diagnose. Not to compare every child to the child beside them. But to pay attention to patterns in development and speak up when we have concerns.
What can we begin noticing about oral language?
Here are a few places to start in your everyday interactions with children:
Understanding: Does the child seem to understand familiar words, questions, and simple directions appropriate for their age?
Communicating: How does the child express needs, share ideas, or get someone’s attention? Are they using gestures, sounds, words, or combinations of these?
Vocabulary: Is the child learning and using words to talk about familiar people, objects, actions, and experiences?
Back-and-forth interactions: Does the child engage with others through gestures, sounds, words, or conversational turns in ways that are appropriate for their stage of development?
Growth over time: Are you noticing progress in how the child understands and uses language?
One more thing to pay attention to: Has a child stopped using words, gestures, or other communication skills they previously used? Losing skills a child once had is worth taking seriously and discussing promptly with the family and an appropriate healthcare professional.
What to Do If You Have Concerns with Oral Language
Write down what you’re noticing. Talk with the family in a supportive way. Ask what they’re seeing at home. And when appropriate, encourage them to speak with their pediatrician or a speech-language pathologist about their concerns.
You can be an advocate without being the diagnostician.
I also want you to have tools to help you do this. That’s why I created my early noticing guide. It looks beyond oral language alone to help us think about the broader developmental skills that support early literacy.
Resources Worth Saving and Sharing
Our job isn’t to diagnose, but it is our responsibility to speak up and help families find the right support. If you’re concerned about a child’s speech, language, or overall development, encourage the family to talk with their pediatrician or a qualified professional.
Here are a few resources worth saving and sharing:
For Charlotte-area families: Northeastern University Speech-Language Center offers speech and language evaluations and treatment at no cost.
For children under age 3 in Mecklenburg County: Children’s Developmental Services Agency (CDSA) provides early intervention evaluations and services for eligible children.
For children ages 3 and older: North Carolina Child Find explains how families can request an evaluation through their local public school system to determine whether a child may qualify for special education services.
For families anywhere: ASHA’s birth-to-five communication milestones offers a helpful guide to speech and language development, and their SLP directory helps families find certified speech-language pathologists.
You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, being an advocate starts with helping a family find the right person to ask.
Want to Go Deeper?
In my book, The Early Literacy Shift, I walk you through how to bring research-based literacy instruction into a play-based classroom without losing the joy that makes early childhood so special.
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